Last night, I laughed and laughed and truly enjoyed myself at The Bored Teachers Comedy Tour. Laughter is such a necessity in the field of education especially in our current situation with teacher shortages and budget cuts. Rather than continue to post about strategies, I decided to pivot to something a little different these next few weeks focusing on ways to take care of ourselves as educators. This week, I want to look at teaching through the lens of my top television show of all time: The Golden Girls. In lieu of a cup of tea, I have my slice of cheesecake ready.
We’re Teachers. It’s November. The Lanai is Full.
We are heading straight into the Disillusionment Phase, if not already there, as the Winter Break approaches. There are so many ways to help navigate this time of year. While having a strong support system, like a mentor or planning team, definitely helps; it is important to have other ways to support yourself. This is the time when teacher wellness isn’t a “luxury,” it’s a “survival tactic.”
When you’re this tired, where do you turn for wisdom? As it turns out, the best advice might just come from four women in Miami, late at night, in a kitchen while sharing a cheesecake: The Golden Girls. This iconic 1980s sitcom followed the lives of four women in their late 50s and early 60s starring Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Rue McClanahan, and Betty White. The Golden Girls wasn’t just a sitcom; it was a 30-minute masterclass in resilience, community, and humor. As educators, we can learn everything we need to know about surviving this profession from them with some solid laughs on the side.
The Power of Wit and Strong Boundaries
Dorothy Zbornak, played by Bea Arthur, is definitely my favorite character. Perhaps it is the fact she was an educator and often episodes highlighted the trials of teaching. Maybe it was her imposing presence with a great wit to match. Her pragmatism also helped during overwhelming times with great advice. Sometimes, you have to step back and take simple, practical steps to work through a challenge. Additionally, her commentary on life and those around her always brought a grin to my face.
The Teacher Wellness Lesson: Set Your Boundaries and Protect Your Perspective
- The “No” to Stan: Due to her competent nature and ability to take care of business, Dorothy’s ex-husband Stan constantly found his way to her doorstep for her help. The many ways Dorothy hilariously managed to put him in his place while also forcing him to handle his own problems emphasized Dorothy’s ability to set boundaries. Dorothy was a master at saying “no” to things that drain her energy specifically Stan. As educators, we are often expected to have a “servant’s heart,” which is not a bad thing but can easily be taken advantage of. We must give ourselves permission to say a professional “no” to that one extra committee, to decline chaperoning a third event, or to set a firm “I will respond within 24 business hours” policy for emails instead of replying at 10 PM.
- “Shady Pines” as a Metaphor: Dorothy was also the responsible caretaker for her mother who suffered a stroke. Initially, her mother resided at Shady Pines (a name for a nursing home that inspires a bit of a laugh itself) and then comes to live with the other women. The dynamic between Dorothy and her mother inspires the laughs as they volley love wrapped in sarcasm at each other with Dorothy’s threat of “Shady Pines” as her ultimate boundary. We all need to know what our “Shady Pines” is—that line we won’t cross that protects our well-being, our family time, or our mental health. Maybe your “Shady Pines” is “I will not sacrifice my Sunday,” or “I will not be spoken to unprofessionally.” Know your line and defend it.
- Wit as a Survival Tool (Not Sarcasm as a Weapon): This is the key. Many of the comments Dorothy makes are clever through word play or a quick retort to one of the other women. Dorothy’s humor is how she copes with absurdity, and as teachers, we can be surrounded by absurdity. It is important to keep perspective, and if you can do that with a witty comment that brings a smile to your face – great! Under the right circumstances, a witty remark can lighten a tense situation or ease the overwhelm. However, this is not permission to be mean or insubordinate. This is about knowing when wit can help you back away from the ledge.
Finding Joy (and Kindness) in the St. Olaf Stories
Rose Nylund, played by the beloved Betty White, lived a life of innocence and sometimes an exhausting naiveté. She operated from a place of relentless kindness and found wonder in the mundane (and often bizarre) stories of her hometown. I mean, to this day all I have to hear is “Back in St. Olaf…” to crack up laughing. The real genius with this character was how she wasn’t as much as a simpleton as the other women often labeled her. She had her moments of truth that always involved loving people for who they are.
The Teacher Wellness Lesson: Choose Kindness and Find Your Joy.
- Be the Rose: There is such a thing as toxic positivity, and this is not what I mean. Sometimes things are hard. However, you may end up being the light for another educator on campus. Teaching is full of challenges, but it is also full of moments of joy. Hold onto those moments to connect back to when things are difficult. Create a Smile File where you keep positive notes and emails and such from students, parents, and coworkers. Additionally, you can be the one who brings the positive story, the kind word. Kindness is a renewable resource.
- Embrace Your “St. Olaf Stories”: Every teacher has them—the weird, unexplainable, hilarious things students say or do. This is the joy of the job. Take time to write them down, share them with a trusted colleague, and savor them. Don’t let the stress of testing overshadow the joy of the “Great Herring War” story that a student just told.
Own Your Expertise and Love Yourself Fiercely
Blanche Devereaux, played by Rue McClanahan, showed us all that passion and physical romance doesn’t have to wane with age. While she became the target for many jokes addressing her variety of casual relationships, Blanche showed women how to be confident in themselves. Unapologetically, Blanche is the life-affirming, confident, Southern belle who loves herself – flaws and all. She is her own biggest fan. I find often in education teachers struggle to sing their own praises. Like Blanche, we need to become our own biggest fans.
The Teacher Wellness Lesson: Unapologetic Self-Advocacy.
- “Own Your Story”: Blanche isn’t ashamed of her past; she celebrates it. As teachers, we must celebrate our “wins.” Did you nail that lesson? That’s awesome. What about that connection with the student other teachers gave up on? Be proud. Say it out loud. Don’t fall into the “humble teacher” trap. On the flip side, it is also good to celebrate failures. Lessons that take a wrong turn or don’t land can teach us so much. Working with difficult students also show us how to navigate relationship building. Celebrate it all!
- Be Your Own Hype Person: Teachers, especially women, are often taught to be self-sacrificing. Yeah, I’m not a fan of this expectation either. Not that it is bad to want to give your all to your students, but that is not sustainable. If you do choose to do more, then you deserve appreciation and compensation. Blanche reminds us that it’s okay to advocate for ourselves, to ask for that raise, to apply for that grant, and to believe we are darn good at what we do.
- Find Your “Good Lighting”: Do what makes you feel good. If that’s a new outfit, a fantastic (and fun) new lesson plan, or just enjoying a quiet cup of tea… do it.
“Picture It…” (Gaining Perspective)
Sophia Petrillo, played by Estelle Getty, was the sassy matriarch of the group who previously suffered a stroke that destroyed the part of her brain that filtered what she said. Of course, that means she always said exactly what she thought no matter how clever or insulting. She lived with the other women after her retirement home, Shady Pines, burned down. Her daughter, Dorothy, and she shared a fun relationship of back and forth banter. Sophia is the truth-teller. She’s seen it all, and her “Picture it…” stories provide a (questionable) historical lens that delivers a powerful, pragmatic, and often hilarious “so what.”
The Teacher Wellness Lesson: Perspective, Perspective, Perspective.
- “Picture It… Sicily, 1922”: No matter how bad your day was, it’s probably not “a vendetta against the village cheesemonger” bad. Sophia’s stories remind us that this too shall pass. That one terrible observation, that one bombed lesson… it’s just a blip. The longer you are in the classroom, the wiser you will become. You will see initiatives come and go. You will teach all the siblings of THAT family. You will work for many administrators. Eventually, the new teacher becomes the veteran mentor whose “Picture It…” stories are full of heart and wisdom and humor.
- The Wicker Purse: The wicker purse is an extension of Sophia. It goes with her everywhere (sometimes it is comical where that purse ends up). Everything she needs is in that wicker purse. Sophia is always prepared. She’s got wisdom, a sharp retort, and probably a hard candy in her purse. This is the “veteran teacher energy” we all need. Be prepared, trust your gut, and always, always keep an emergency snack in your desk drawer.
The Deal with the Cheesecake
Cheesecake became synonymous with The Golden Girls. When things got tough or they needed to have a heart-to-heart, all four women came together around the kitchen table and shared a cheesecake. The kitchen table scenes proved the solution to almost every problem—no matter how absurd—was found by sitting down together, talking it out, and sharing a cheesecake. Teacher wellness isn’t just a solo activity; it’s a community sport. No matter how deep into Disillusionment you get, you cannot go it alone. Think about who you want at your kitchen table: who is your Dorothy for tough advice, your Rose for a kind word, your Blanche to cheer you on, and your Sophia to give you perspective? Find them. Be one for someone else. And…
An Educational Cup of Tea 
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